Mommy Memoirs - Parent Pledges

Am back with my next in the Mommy Memoirs series. This one's slightly different... It's more of what he and I wish to follow as parents. Jotting it down as our parent pledge list so that it serves as a reminder... Sharing it on my blog space so that I get more ideas from my readers... Your thoughts and comments will surely help... And I won't charge a fee if you want to borrow some of our pledges too :)

 

 

Parent Pledge #1
Will do what WE think is best for NiVi... And not what nosey self-proclaimed well-wishers around try to force on us.

Do not mean to be mean, but I strongly believe that ideas should not be forced. What worked for one parent with their children need not always work for ours. So though we would love to hear everyone's story and learn from them, we would definitely not want anyone breathing down our necks when it comes to our baby!

 

Parent Pledge #2
Will try and keep NiVi as far away from technology as possible so that she gets to experience her childhood like a child. Mobiles, tablets and the likes can come in a little later.

We may be tempted to boast about how technologically brilliant our kids are, by ranting about how they know to glide their way into our smart devices. But in the long run, this 'skill' is definitely not worth it so early in life! There is a beautiful 'real' world beyond all things smart. We wish every new parent encourage their little ones to experience and explore that world. Believe me they will end up way smarter than any 'dumb' smart device around!

 

Parent Pledge #3
Keep her off disposable diapers as much as we can. Modern Cloth Diapers are the way to go.

She is doing pretty good so far... flaunting her fluffy colorful butt :) She can be proud about herself for doing her bit to keep the environment clean and the landfills diaper-free.

 

Parent Pledge #4
We will not nudge her into doing things that we want her to do... We will rather nudge ourselves to try and understand what she wants to do... and help her get there!

As parents we do get carried once in a way, and weave dreams for her future... only to realize in a jiffy that we are probably getting pushy and sign off the moment with a 'Baby, you do whatever you want' :)

 

Parent Pledge #5
We will never compare her with others around... She'll be a star by herself and in her own way.

Every child brings along his or her own plan and they live by that each day. They decide and live their own milestones too...when to sit, when to crawl, when to stand, when to eat and how and how much... everything!! Each baby is uniquely special waiting to surprise you with what he or she comes packaged along with... so let us just let them be!!!

That is all the pledges we have for now as we have also pledged not to tax ourselves too much just because we are parents now. Hoping to stand by each of these each day, in  between changing diapers and humming lullabies that is :)

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Mommy Memoirs - Months 4 to 6

Am back with my next couple of posts in my Mommy Memoirs series. The delay in getting this blog up, is yet again a series of 'mommy excuses' :)
 

While the first three months of having baby in tow was a mix of happiness and anxiety bundled together, the next three months were equally full of surprises.

 

I learnt to bathe my baby myself. I learnt to massage her myself. I learnt to enjoy her being around more than even before. With the physical pain and post partum effects gone away now, it became easier to focus on NiVi and watch her every move, with more awe than ever before!

 

NiVi had some surprises planned for us too. Her wobbly head began to get steadier and it was during these months that she even decided to roll over. It is such a blissful experience to watch your baby reach and cross her milestones. Poor NiVi was so excited about turning over that she ended up doing some head and nose banging on the floor too, only to realize that it hurt her. Wails and shrill cries would only naturally follow. Guess all of  that is part of a baby's self learning curriculum too!

 

With an overseas move becoming more definite now, the little one and me were on our toes to get all our paper work done. NiVi, of course was oblivious to what was happening around her. She posed (or did she even do that!) for a several 100 clicks in my attempt to get the perfect picture for her passport sized photo! I almost gave up after seeing the myriad expressions she had in each one of the pictures. If she was smiling in one, her eyes were closed in that one. If her eyes were twinkling ok in one, she was making one of her cute funny faces in that one! And if all was OK with her nose, ears and mouth I would realize the background was not white! Thanks to the photo studio guy and software available today, one such picture that I took got tweaked and we finally had her first passport sized photograph in our hands... and to multiply the satisfaction... we had 10 copies of it :)

 

She got carried in to the passport office, got priority treatment there, thanks to her 'infant' status. Her passport reached home, literally Godspeed. It got dispatched the same evening as we had her appointment and reached home the very next day! Our visa formalities followed, again with Her Highness getting carried along with all her travel must-haves, right from diapers to wipes and warm water to baby food! The visa officer got her picture taken, with a bit of struggle too. He had a clapping musical toy that came to his rescue. It immediately caught Nivi's attention and her amazement is captured forever on the visa photograph too :)

 

With all the paperwork done and dusted, we set out to Mumbai for a two week halt. NiVi had her first train experience, and again 'we only travel First Class' is possibly what she whispered to her dad over Skype. My parents, sister and me happily towed along in a comfortable first class coupe, all to ourselves. 

 

Mumbai meant more relatives and friends coming over. NiVi had to face her first tryst with sharing the limelight with someone here. Her little cousin sister who was just about a month and something was around too. I am guessing NiVi only loved the experience. She did not miss a single opportunity of holding on to her little cousin. Maybe her way of saying she cared for and loved her :)

 

Meanwhile the bags got packed, the goodbyes were done and we set off for her first flight experience and her first overseas experience too :)

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Mommy Memoirs - Things You Don't Want To But Have To Hear

As a new mum, there are a hundred strange, new and unexpected things that you can experience. I wonder if any of the mums I know managed to handle these, all by themselves. Each of us turn to someone close for all those queries, frights and fears that cross our minds. Thankfully for me I have my mum and sister to handle the silliest of questions that I may have.

To add to that, thanks to WhatsApp, I have a set of 'new mommy' friends who double up as mommy-wiki's for me. They were literally a ping away right through my 9 month journey and continue to be so. Thank you my mommy friends :-)

Now apart from this set of your chosen advisors, you are most likely to come across a dozen relatives, friends or passersby who will chip in with their unwelcome comments, probings and much more. If you did not encounter such people, you are surely blessed. For the record, I have tried to collect all such questions/ comments that I had to, but didn't want to, hear during my pregnancy and after NiVi was born. I would have liked to add that all these characters are fictitious and do not resemble anyone living or dead. However, fortunately or otherwise, they are very much for real and living :-)

Here goes...

'Eat as much as you want and whatever you want before you deliver.'

... However genuine and well meant this statement may be, I doubt if you can really eat as much as you want and all that you want... Especially during the last couple of months with your little one cuddled inside and hardly any room left. Didn't work for me, not sure about the others.

'Oh!! You want to have a girl?!'

... YES!! And I will only prefer to reserve my reactions on this one... Lest I get violent with my vocabulary. We are proud to have NiVi in our lives!

'Congratulations! How does it feel.. (And then before you even smile and begin to say thanks)... Are you "able" to feed her??!!'

... Most irritatingly timed question when you are still in the hospital and recouping. Almost everyone seems to be curious and/or concerned about this. Depending on the age of your 'well wisher', this question will most likely be followed by a lecture to the effect of 'mother's feed is the best for your baby'. Every new mom knows this, people!! I think we should just let her and the baby be. Let them take their time and settle down... in what, I think, is nature's best example of human bonding :-)

'Does she sleep well at night??'

... Reflex response... Oh yes!!! My baby has super natural powers of sleeping through the night without wanting to be fed or cleaned!!! Such a painful question to pose to someone who is already zombified, displaying all signs of lack of sleep!

'... And you thought raising a child was easy??!!

...This statement will mark the end of a detailed discussion on all the challenges you are facing as a new mother. All through you would be made to believe that you have a very empathetic listener... And then this question pops up suddenly, leaving you saying 'hnmmm'... and thinking '@#$%'.

'Who does she look like??' 

... Now there's nothing really wrong with this question but I just find it too clichéd. And the irony here is that all my friends think she resembles me, all his friends think she resembles him and all our common friends think she resembles both of us :-D 

Am sure there will be many more such questions in the months ahead. Time for me to check with my mommy-wiki's... so that I can be better prepared ;-)

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Mommy Memoirs - Months 0 to 3

May 26, 2014 maybe just another hot summer day for most of you. For us, it meant the world. Our daughter was born on this day. Our little princess. Our true bundle of joy... NiVi :-)

I have decided to document this fulfilling and divine experience in our lives. Am sure the parent in each of you will relate to most of it. There are many bestsellers available off the shelf and off the web for parents to be. You can try and digest all of it. But do not be surprised if what actually happens is 'out of syllabus'! ;-)

The last few weeks of waiting for your baby to arrive is a true test of patience. During this time you will definitely hear one or all of this from people around.

'What do you think it will be... Girl or boy??'
... Guess this is expected to be our first mother's intuition :-)

'Eat whatever you want now. Once you deliver there will be a 100 restrictions.'
... Very true.

'Sleep as much as you can now. Once you deliver sleep deprivation is a sure thing!' 

... So so very true. The first few weeks (and the weeks ahead!!) can be quite overwhelming.

'Be prepared to deal with the shift in attention. Once the baby is around you will become a distant second.'
... Guess babies have it in them to grab attention. No complaints... But the new mother needs to be prepared for this.

******

Once your baby is born... Life changes instantly. I still get goose bumps while saying 'my daughter' :-).

All the challenges apart, it is indeed a blissful feeling...

• Each time I hold NiVi in my arms.

• When I see NiVi's little feet, little fingers, little nose, cute little smile and not so little ears :-)

• Calling her by a hundred cute names and watching her gurgle at each one of them.

• The truest sense of accomplishment when I rock her to sleep... So what if the sleep only lasts her journey from lap to bed :-)

• The secret sense of pride when am able to stop her from crying... Either by simply holding her or feeding her.

• The little thank you that she says with her sparkling eyes whilst she feeds.

• Adorning her with little bangles and traditional charms... and the joy to see them fit her.

• Weighing little NiVi and maintaining her weight tracker. Each gain in weight seems a milestone met... It also means she is likely to fit into the next set of her cute little outfits. Her wardrobe is stocked for the next 6 months already :-)

• Stealing NiVi's baby milk powder and feeling guilty about it. Never felt that way while secretly gulping my niece's milk powder ;-)

• Changing nappies, applying baby powder (and smelling her once in a while), decking her up and then smiling at her toothless smile :-)

• Tiptoeing around the room when she is sleeping and lecturing everyone else to do the same.

• Using all the special characters on the keyboard to form the choicest of adjectives for those insensitive drivers who go around honking on the streets outside.

• Watching NiVi smile and laugh at near and dear ones around.

• Planning and rehearsing for every outing with NiVi... Though it's been only doctor visits thus far.

• Every minute spent with her, actually :-)

Love you loads little munchkin. Stay blessed... always :-*

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