Mommy Memoirs - Months 4 to 6

Am back with my next couple of posts in my Mommy Memoirs series. The delay in getting this blog up, is yet again a series of 'mommy excuses' :)
 

While the first three months of having baby in tow was a mix of happiness and anxiety bundled together, the next three months were equally full of surprises.

 

I learnt to bathe my baby myself. I learnt to massage her myself. I learnt to enjoy her being around more than even before. With the physical pain and post partum effects gone away now, it became easier to focus on NiVi and watch her every move, with more awe than ever before!

 

NiVi had some surprises planned for us too. Her wobbly head began to get steadier and it was during these months that she even decided to roll over. It is such a blissful experience to watch your baby reach and cross her milestones. Poor NiVi was so excited about turning over that she ended up doing some head and nose banging on the floor too, only to realize that it hurt her. Wails and shrill cries would only naturally follow. Guess all of  that is part of a baby's self learning curriculum too!

 

With an overseas move becoming more definite now, the little one and me were on our toes to get all our paper work done. NiVi, of course was oblivious to what was happening around her. She posed (or did she even do that!) for a several 100 clicks in my attempt to get the perfect picture for her passport sized photo! I almost gave up after seeing the myriad expressions she had in each one of the pictures. If she was smiling in one, her eyes were closed in that one. If her eyes were twinkling ok in one, she was making one of her cute funny faces in that one! And if all was OK with her nose, ears and mouth I would realize the background was not white! Thanks to the photo studio guy and software available today, one such picture that I took got tweaked and we finally had her first passport sized photograph in our hands... and to multiply the satisfaction... we had 10 copies of it :)

 

She got carried in to the passport office, got priority treatment there, thanks to her 'infant' status. Her passport reached home, literally Godspeed. It got dispatched the same evening as we had her appointment and reached home the very next day! Our visa formalities followed, again with Her Highness getting carried along with all her travel must-haves, right from diapers to wipes and warm water to baby food! The visa officer got her picture taken, with a bit of struggle too. He had a clapping musical toy that came to his rescue. It immediately caught Nivi's attention and her amazement is captured forever on the visa photograph too :)

 

With all the paperwork done and dusted, we set out to Mumbai for a two week halt. NiVi had her first train experience, and again 'we only travel First Class' is possibly what she whispered to her dad over Skype. My parents, sister and me happily towed along in a comfortable first class coupe, all to ourselves. 

 

Mumbai meant more relatives and friends coming over. NiVi had to face her first tryst with sharing the limelight with someone here. Her little cousin sister who was just about a month and something was around too. I am guessing NiVi only loved the experience. She did not miss a single opportunity of holding on to her little cousin. Maybe her way of saying she cared for and loved her :)

 

Meanwhile the bags got packed, the goodbyes were done and we set off for her first flight experience and her first overseas experience too :)

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Mommy Memoirs - Things You Don't Want To But Have To Hear

As a new mum, there are a hundred strange, new and unexpected things that you can experience. I wonder if any of the mums I know managed to handle these, all by themselves. Each of us turn to someone close for all those queries, frights and fears that cross our minds. Thankfully for me I have my mum and sister to handle the silliest of questions that I may have.

To add to that, thanks to WhatsApp, I have a set of 'new mommy' friends who double up as mommy-wiki's for me. They were literally a ping away right through my 9 month journey and continue to be so. Thank you my mommy friends :-)

Now apart from this set of your chosen advisors, you are most likely to come across a dozen relatives, friends or passersby who will chip in with their unwelcome comments, probings and much more. If you did not encounter such people, you are surely blessed. For the record, I have tried to collect all such questions/ comments that I had to, but didn't want to, hear during my pregnancy and after NiVi was born. I would have liked to add that all these characters are fictitious and do not resemble anyone living or dead. However, fortunately or otherwise, they are very much for real and living :-)

Here goes...

'Eat as much as you want and whatever you want before you deliver.'

... However genuine and well meant this statement may be, I doubt if you can really eat as much as you want and all that you want... Especially during the last couple of months with your little one cuddled inside and hardly any room left. Didn't work for me, not sure about the others.

'Oh!! You want to have a girl?!'

... YES!! And I will only prefer to reserve my reactions on this one... Lest I get violent with my vocabulary. We are proud to have NiVi in our lives!

'Congratulations! How does it feel.. (And then before you even smile and begin to say thanks)... Are you "able" to feed her??!!'

... Most irritatingly timed question when you are still in the hospital and recouping. Almost everyone seems to be curious and/or concerned about this. Depending on the age of your 'well wisher', this question will most likely be followed by a lecture to the effect of 'mother's feed is the best for your baby'. Every new mom knows this, people!! I think we should just let her and the baby be. Let them take their time and settle down... in what, I think, is nature's best example of human bonding :-)

'Does she sleep well at night??'

... Reflex response... Oh yes!!! My baby has super natural powers of sleeping through the night without wanting to be fed or cleaned!!! Such a painful question to pose to someone who is already zombified, displaying all signs of lack of sleep!

'... And you thought raising a child was easy??!!

...This statement will mark the end of a detailed discussion on all the challenges you are facing as a new mother. All through you would be made to believe that you have a very empathetic listener... And then this question pops up suddenly, leaving you saying 'hnmmm'... and thinking '@#$%'.

'Who does she look like??' 

... Now there's nothing really wrong with this question but I just find it too clichéd. And the irony here is that all my friends think she resembles me, all his friends think she resembles him and all our common friends think she resembles both of us :-D 

Am sure there will be many more such questions in the months ahead. Time for me to check with my mommy-wiki's... so that I can be better prepared ;-)

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Mommy Memoirs - Months 0 to 3

May 26, 2014 maybe just another hot summer day for most of you. For us, it meant the world. Our daughter was born on this day. Our little princess. Our true bundle of joy... NiVi :-)

I have decided to document this fulfilling and divine experience in our lives. Am sure the parent in each of you will relate to most of it. There are many bestsellers available off the shelf and off the web for parents to be. You can try and digest all of it. But do not be surprised if what actually happens is 'out of syllabus'! ;-)

The last few weeks of waiting for your baby to arrive is a true test of patience. During this time you will definitely hear one or all of this from people around.

'What do you think it will be... Girl or boy??'
... Guess this is expected to be our first mother's intuition :-)

'Eat whatever you want now. Once you deliver there will be a 100 restrictions.'
... Very true.

'Sleep as much as you can now. Once you deliver sleep deprivation is a sure thing!' 

... So so very true. The first few weeks (and the weeks ahead!!) can be quite overwhelming.

'Be prepared to deal with the shift in attention. Once the baby is around you will become a distant second.'
... Guess babies have it in them to grab attention. No complaints... But the new mother needs to be prepared for this.

******

Once your baby is born... Life changes instantly. I still get goose bumps while saying 'my daughter' :-).

All the challenges apart, it is indeed a blissful feeling...

• Each time I hold NiVi in my arms.

• When I see NiVi's little feet, little fingers, little nose, cute little smile and not so little ears :-)

• Calling her by a hundred cute names and watching her gurgle at each one of them.

• The truest sense of accomplishment when I rock her to sleep... So what if the sleep only lasts her journey from lap to bed :-)

• The secret sense of pride when am able to stop her from crying... Either by simply holding her or feeding her.

• The little thank you that she says with her sparkling eyes whilst she feeds.

• Adorning her with little bangles and traditional charms... and the joy to see them fit her.

• Weighing little NiVi and maintaining her weight tracker. Each gain in weight seems a milestone met... It also means she is likely to fit into the next set of her cute little outfits. Her wardrobe is stocked for the next 6 months already :-)

• Stealing NiVi's baby milk powder and feeling guilty about it. Never felt that way while secretly gulping my niece's milk powder ;-)

• Changing nappies, applying baby powder (and smelling her once in a while), decking her up and then smiling at her toothless smile :-)

• Tiptoeing around the room when she is sleeping and lecturing everyone else to do the same.

• Using all the special characters on the keyboard to form the choicest of adjectives for those insensitive drivers who go around honking on the streets outside.

• Watching NiVi smile and laugh at near and dear ones around.

• Planning and rehearsing for every outing with NiVi... Though it's been only doctor visits thus far.

• Every minute spent with her, actually :-)

Love you loads little munchkin. Stay blessed... always :-*

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Will It Make It To The List?

With movies like The Bucket List, Dasvidaniya and Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara doing the rounds for years, you will more often than not come across people listing out their personal Bucket Lists - on either one form of social networking or the other. Blogs to the effect of '10 things to do before you die' have been the in thing for a long while now.

I have always been inspired to publish my Bucket List... but have somehow not bothered to take out time for it. Maybe I am lazy, maybe I am not managing my time well enough, or maybe I am hesitating to publish my only item on the list that I would want to do before I die - 'To prepare my Bucket List' (and obviously live to see it materialize!) :P

I am not quite up to getting this list published as yet. I need some more nudging and pushing. I also need to spend some time and prioritize my wish list - just to make sure what I desire the most gets due attention before the cliched 'bucket' is kicked!

For the moment, I am listing out random thoughts that are screaming out loudly enough to ensure they make it to my coveted list. Maybe I can refer to this list later when I get down to preparing 'The List'.

Make My Trip

I wish to travel to every corner of India and if I am done with that, then possibly nearby countries and eventually the rest of the world. I want to meet people of all kinds, eat all kinds of vegetarian cuisine, experience all the must-do's and must-see's of all the places I visit, take loads of pictures (it's been ages since I had photo updates on FB :P) etc. Basically this one's about realizing the freedom of being able to experience everyone and everything that has been created around me.

Chit Chaat

Another of my wishes is to satiate my appetite for Indian chaats, leaving no plate unturned :P. From all the details I have collected so far Indore's street food and chaats seem to top the list. So for the moment the plan is to travel down to Indore for a day long chaat experience and catch the last train back home :)

Are the Roads Ready for Me???
This has been a long pending wish. I wish to play Roadrash... real time!!! Several strings attached though. I should be allowed to drive as I please on roads and terrains of my choice. I should be allowed to switch between a whole array of automobiles that should be available at my disposal. I should be allowed to drive and ride at speeds of my choice. I should not be held responsible for all the bloodshed I cause en-route. I should be allowed to choose the people who would trespass my route so that I enjoy the bloodshed I cause (I barely knew I had a 'wicked me' hidden within :P) !!!

Trucking Along

This one's a more sober wish if pitted against my Realtime Roadrash wish above. I wish to drive a huge truck on an empty road. The truck must be fully loaded with goods to make the drive a tough and slow one. I don't know why I fancy this idea but I want to do it. Maybe I'll know why, when I do it eventually. I did forget though, to mention that the empty roads should have a couple of dhabas that dish out lip-smacking homely food. This will help me complete the whole truck driver experience :)

Winged Wish

This one is a rather simple and relatively achievable wish. I wish to fly a helicopter and am also OK with flying as a passenger. I'd rather leave the technicalities to more experienced hands to ensure I live to see my other wishes materialize :) I want to fly around places I visit by road otherwise and get a birds eye view of all those places. 

Super Powers

I so badly wish I am blessed with some superhuman powers to set right a few things and a lot of people around me. It hurts to feel helpless in daily situations where some 'strangely blessed' people get away with their ways. Whether it is a government servant not doing his duties, or a corrupt politician busy filling his coffers, or an educated idiot breaking traffic rules on the road, I wish not to feel helpless the next time I come across these kinds. I would like to have some superhero-like powers to be able to teach them a lesson. For starters, maybe, I should have the option of picking them up and hurling them onto some other planet... without a return ticket attached!!! 

Get Published

A very far-fetched wish this one. I would possibly surprise myself if this one materializes some day. But I still would like to fancy the idea of getting published in this lifetime. After all, 'Thoughts become Things'!!! :) I want people to purchase my paperbacks off bookstore shelves and I want to see my husband smile at them  with pride. He has been instrumental in getting me to dream big and get this one on to my wish list. Seeing him see me realize this wish means a lot to me, even more than getting published itself :)

Big Applause

Another crazy wish I have is to be able to get a stadium full of Indian cricket fans to cheer for me like they do for an India-Pakistan match. I am ready to practice a bit of cricket, try some rare shots like the Dhoni Helicopter or the Sehwag Uppercut or any other cricketing gimmick that will get the audience to roar in applause and cheer for me. I have no clue why I wished this one up, guess the self-obsessed narcissist in me got me to do it :)

I guess I am done for now. I think I should rather spend some time looking for brass lamps that I can rub out a Genie from. I am very sure it is going to take a Genie of sorts to get most of these wishes to materialize :)

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People are to be Loved

Came across this email forward. Felt it suits our times completely... where are people are used more than loved. Genuine love, affection and respect have made way for getting people to get things done for us. Wanted to share this and make a small difference!

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car.

In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father......
with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'

The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.
devastated by his own actions...... sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches... the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.

The next day that man committed suicide...

Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life & remember this:

Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.
Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

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dil toh bachcha hai ji...

It has taken me over a month now to get over the fact that I am a year older all over again!!! I am one step closer to stepping out of my 20's and it is a somewhat weird feeling.

I am not of the vain variety who dreads growing old. I do not hear an 'aunty... aunty... aunty' echo when younger ones call me 'aunty'! I do not freak out when I see that odd silver strand on my head. Well, atleast I do not yell loud enough to let the neighbours know :)

Aging, according to many other like minded people, is a state of mind. And thankfully for me, I have managed to keep the child in me alive and kicking! There's a thin line between holding on to the kid in you and being kiddish and immature. I am guessing I haven't crossed the line. Maybe the grown-ups around me can answer that. :)

I was reminded today of all the fun things I did as a kid. Took this chance to list out some of them.

School
I miss everything about school. From classes to special classes, homework to handiwork, black shoes to white sneakers, uniforms to 'colour dress' days, Open Days to Annual Prize Distributions, Class I to Class X... I miss it all. I still remember how we had this freeze bell rule at school. Whenever it was time for class after a break, we would hear 2 bells. The first bell was called the freeze bell. It was like a game of statue. You stand still and do not move for a good 30 seconds or so. On hearing the second bell we were to line up and get to class. Funny and peculiar it may sound, but we did it day in and day out. So much that I miss it till date. Loads of memories from school time are flooding my mind now. I think I will save them all for another post.

Summer Vacations
You call it jealousy or you call it reminiscing old memories but I simply cannot stop envying all the school kids in my apartment. Their summer vacations are on... and they are in the best of spirits. This part of the year used to be the best in all my years at school. I loved making that day long train journey from Bombay to Madras for a 2 month vacation with my grandparents. I miss all those long warm summers that I spent with them and everything they did to make my vacation even more special. Love you thatha and paati!!!

Doordarshan
Satellite transmission and DTH services have taken the television by storm. Channels have run into triple digit figures. Reality shows are the order of the day with melodramatic serials not far behind. Kareena Kapoor can throw a tantrum about missing her favourite saas-bahu serial, only to see Saif recording it for her to watch later!!! Cut back to a few years ago (few is not an understatement... the kid in me adds :D). Doordarshan was our only source of entertainment on television. DD-I and DD-II were more than enough to keep us entertained. I miss all the TV shows I watched on Doordarshan as well as the movies that were telecast over the weekend. Nukkad, Wagle ki Duniya, Mungerilal ke Haseen Sapne, Jungle Book, Circus, Fauji, Byomkesh Bakshi, Tehkikaat, Mahabharata, Ramayana, Superhit Muqabla, Chitrahaar, Daawat, Udaan Surabhi, ... Oh I miss them all!!!

Bedtime@9.30p.m.
The Parent's Rule Book at our house clearly stated that we needed to get to bed by 9.30pm. That ensured we caught up on all the sleep our body needed. Over the years I have been wishing my family a good night's sleep later and later on the clock. I cannot remember when was the last time I went to sleep as early as 9.30pm. It is well past midnight by the time I retire for the day. Crazy lifestyles need a little order too. I have decided to consciously work on this. Early to bed and early to rise (the bigger challenge!!!) will surely make me healthy, wealthy and wise... on second thoughts let us make that - healthy, wealthy and wiser :)

Fancy Dress Competitions
I miss the many fancy dress shows I participated in. My mum looked forward to these more than me :). I remember getting dressed up as Baby Krishna once and as a Hawaian girl on another occasion. I won prizes for both :). We had these annual functions in our residential complex for Diwali and New Year's Eve. The whole process of deciding on what we're going to dress up as, preparing for it and going up on stage and enacting it out was a wonderful experience. I also participated in some group dances for some of these functions but somehow the Fancy Dress Competitions linger on in my mind. I will look up some of the pictures and hope to P.S. them to this post.

Kid Books
Tintin, Asterix and Obelix, Noddy, Chacha Chowdhary, Target, Tinkle, Champak, the complete Enid Blyton series, Secret Seven, Famous Five, Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys - I am sure all or most of these feature on your list of favourite childhood books. I used to eat, drink, walk, talk, yawn, sleep and breathe books. Somehow, over the years I have not been able to devote as much time to books. I still love reading all of these books. I actually enjoy it even more when I read them now. I remember bringing down the library shelves in our clubhouse to find the best of books. Since I could get only one of them issued per week I would hide my personal selection behind some books that were rarely ever touched by the others. This would ensure they remained there for the rest of the week :). The best part would be the glances others shot at me when they saw me climb up a chair to reach the top-most shelf. The glance would be followed by a feeling of awe and shame put together when they noticed that the top-most shelf stocked books as heavy as micro or macro economics, physics or nuclear research. They thought they needed to learn a few things from this whiz-kid called ME :)

Fun Games
There used to be a host of games we kids would play every evening. Played a lot of interesting outdoor games like Catch 'n Cook, Blind Man's Buff, Kho-kho, Lagori, hopscotch (Googled this out... we used to call it 'Tippar' or 'Tipri' :D), Kitty Kitty Coming, Chor Police, Saakhli, Langdi, Hide 'n Seek, GoooooooollllllddddddSssssppppppott (that's how we used to yell it out :D) and many more. It has been years and years since I have even made a mention of these games. I have not seen kids playing all of these in the last so many years. Let your kids be kids and let them come up with silly yet interesting games like these and give it a name of their choice. Urge them to use their PC games and TV videogames as stress busters when they are much older.

*******

Wow!!! This post has been such a refresher. It took me back down memory lane and brought back many pleasant memories... each with a smile on my face. There sure are a lot of other things that may come to my mind. Will share those on my blog space later.

My take on growing up would be - Grow up as you are doing anyways but remain a child at heart always. I love to pamper the kid in me. I try as much to do everything I loved doing as a kid. This post has only helped me strengthen my stand. The kid in me is happy! The kid in me is jumping with joy! The kid in me is waiting for more! The kid in me is nudging me to hum along... 'dil toh bachcha hai ji' :)

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Have you seen your golden house yet?

Got this story as an email forward. Food for thought I must say!!!

the house with the golden windows

The little girl lived in a small, very simple, poor house on a hill and as she grew she would play in the small garden and as she grew she was able to see over the garden fence and across the valley to a wonderful house high on the hill – and this house had golden windows, so golden and shining that the little girl would dream of how magical it would be to grow up and live in a house with golden windows instead of an ordinary house like hers.

And although she loved her parents and her family, she yearned to live in such a golden house and dreamed all day about how wonderful and exciting it must feel to live there.

When she got to an age where she gained enough skill and sensibility to go outside her garden fence, she asked her mother is she could go for a bike ride outside the gate and down the lane. After pleading with her, her mother finally allowed her to go, insisting that she kept close to the house and didn’t wander too far. The day was beautiful and the little girl knew exactly where she was heading! Down the lane and across the valley, she rode her bike until she got to the gate of the golden house across on the other hill.

As she dismounted her bike and leaned it against the gate post, she focused on the path that lead to the house and then on the house itself…and was so disappointed as she realized all the windows were plain and rather dirty, reflecting nothing other than the sad neglect of the house that stood derelict.

So sad she didn’t go any further and turned, heartbroken as she remounted her bike … As she glanced up she saw a sight to amaze her… there across the way on her side of the valley was a little house and its windows glistened golden… as the sun shone on her little home.

She realized that she had been living in her golden house and all the love and care she found there was what made her home the ‘golden house’. Everything she dreamed was right there in front of her nose!

The little girl's story higlights the fact that we tend to, more often than not, take what we have for granted. We tend to conveniently overlook what we have and how much it matters to us. The grass on the other side of the fence always seems greener. What is not ours appears to be bigger and brighter than what we have just earned.

It pays to be ambitious in life with newer milestones being set everyday. But it pays even more to spare a few moments to celebrate what we have already achieved.

The little girl in the story represents each one of us. I am only hoping each one of us have seen our golden homes... shining back at us with a smile :)

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Thankyou Irena

In May 2008, a 98 year-old Polish lady named Irena Sendler died.

During WWII, she got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist but she had an ulterior motive. She KNEW of the Nazi's plans for the Jews. Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried and, in the back of her truck, she had a burlap sack for the larger children. She had a dog in the back of the truck that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the noise of the children. She managed to smuggle out and save 2,500 children before she was caught; the Nazis broke both her legs and her arms and beat her severely.

Irena kept a record of the names of all the children that she smuggled out which she kept in a glass jar buried under a tree in herback yard. After the War, she tried to locate any parents that had survived and reunited the families. Most, of course, had been gassed but she helped those children to be placed into foster family homes or adopted.

In 2007, Irena was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize…

She LOST.

Al Gore won for doing a slide show on Global Warming!!!!

***********************************************************

I got this article couple of days back by email. My heart goes out in appreciation for Irena. I'm not sure how much the Nobel Prize would have even meant for a lady as selfless as Irena... but I strongly feel those who take a call about the Nobel Prize need to take a few moments off to think if they'd ever do something as selfless!!!

We may not necessarily get our due credit for the efforts we put in at work or the good we do as humans... does that mean we stop doing well or being good??? Does expecting appreciation and recognition take away the essence of what we're doing???

I'm not sure... I'm confused...

For the moment I'm all praise for Irena... hats off to you lady!!! May we have more of your type...


PS: this post's for my friend kavitha... thanks for pushing me to make sure I publish something asap :)...

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Generation Fast Forward!

The young and trendy like to be referred as Generation Next... but the generation that's catching up loud and clear is Generation Fast Forward - a generation branding that I've done for the kids of today, clearly much quicker in thought and action than most of us who'd want to call ourselves GenNext just coz it sounds cool.

My little niece, who's as little as one does so many things that we would have probably never imagined when we were that age. She does everything from humming a lullaby to put her doll to sleep to walking around so matter-of-factly with a mobile when someone calls. She even speaks in some kind of language that she understands so well and speaks with a 'you don't understand this??!!' attitude!

When we were kids, we were known to be sweet, cute and cuddly. Kids of today are not just all of that but are also smart, intelligent and quick!

Here's a conversation I heard at a bookstore between an affluent mom and her smart little kid, a young guy all of 7 years maybe:

Rich Affluent Mom (RAM): Come on son, we've picked up enough books for yourself.
Smart Little Kid (SLK): Yes mom, just for Rs.2000. We can add some more to it. Check out this one, its ONLY Rs.675/-
RAM: Don't you think its expensive, son!
SLK: It's really worth it, mom! I've read about it somewhere and it is really worth the price (economics pro in the making... I never knew to judge if things were worth their price at 7 years of age!!!)
RAM: Son..!!
SLK: Come on mom, be a sport! You could even pick a copy for yourself!!!

Now how mean was that! Just imagine your own kid not willing to 'share' his books with you. Imagine him/ her asking you to get yourself your own copy of music, books or whatever else. I'm sure the kid didn't mean to sound rude, he was just being practical and detached... Now whether that's a good sign or a bad sign or no sign at all... I'm really not sure. Somehow that conversation struck me... and in a way made me believe that Generation Fast Forward have ways of their own... ways that may shake you up at times.

I'm intimidated at times... sometimes amused!!!

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Mysore Mazaa(la)

I have been long waiting to blog about my holiday to Coorg/ Mysore in January. I've finally mangaged to get down to that

I was between jobs when I took this trip - that kind of took away the excitement of being away from work :)

Here's the Mysore half of the trip. The Coorg experience will follow in my next post.

Mysore - a clean and beautiful city that immediately charmed me. We spent a day and a half there but saw almost everything that Mysore personifies. Here are a few quickies on what I saw or did at Mysore:

The Mysore Zoo - This is the best zoo I have ever been to. It spreads over a vast area and is home to a whole lot of animal and bird species. I'm sure anyone would enjoy a trip to the Mysore zoo - irrespective of how old you are or how old you feel! The magnificent tall giraffes were our hot favourites. This was the first time I ever saw a giraffe for real - and not just one. There were four of them standing tall. I almost couldn't take our eyes off them :)

St. Philomena's Church - We made a quick trip to this church built in the honour of St. Philomena in the Diocese of Mysore. Brilliant architecture, beautiful stain glass interiors and a stoic silence inside the Church made the visit worth every minute spent there.

Brindavan Gardens - Sprawling gardens and the beautiful water fountains are simply soothing. Once it was dark the fountains glittered in various colours. The musical fountain was beatifully choreographed. It was a very relaxing experience at the garden. Superbly maintained.

Mysore Palace - Awesome interiors. Left me in complete envy :). I could almost imagine the Wodeyar clan walking around in the huge palace (effect of an overdose of Jodha Akbar maybe :P)

We saw other places like the beautiful Karanji Lake (including a pedal boat experience), the Chamundeshwari Temple, the magestic Nandi and the Cave Shiva temple on Chamundi Hills, and the Lalit Mahal Palace.

The other good part about Mysore were the yummy dosas. Never had such tasty crisp dosas before.

What impressed me most about the city was it's people. I found almost everyone around to be extremely courteous - including people like traffic policemen who are otherwise so rude and grumpy. Almost every one of them we interacted with were ready to help - with a smile on their face. Something that has gone amiss in our bigger faster cities.

I sure am going back to Mysore soon - for its people, clean wide roads and its yummy dosas :)

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Be an Alchemist

I had heard loads and loads about Paulo Coelho's 'The Alchemist'. One of the most common reason this book was recommended for reading was its extremely positive remarks about how it pays to remain in pursuit of your dreams - no matter how long it takes.

I happened to chance upon a copy of 'The Alchemist' at my aunt's place - picked it up for reading instantly.

I believe in omens and I am always on the lookout for them - in my own small way. Some of the dialogues between the shepherd boy and the people he encounters are so striking. I am not sure whether this book would have the same impact on everyone. I loved the book! Never felt so positive and charged up about my own dreams ever before. I am not sure if I am over-reacting; but somehow I can relate to almost everything that the shepherd boy goes through whilst pursuing the treasure of his life. I don't know... maybe this is an omen by itself!!! And I chose to believe that it is a good omen!

Coming back to the book; I think Paulo Coelho has drawn a brilliant parallel between human dreams and alchemy. Relentlessly trying till you're smiling about what you've achieved is common to both. The metaphor is striking and leaves an impression.

I've compiled some of my favourite lines from the book and what I feel about them. Here goes...

When you really want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.

This one's the best... has inspired many included our very own SRK in Om Shanti Om :P. I blindly trust my conspirators... whoever they are, wherever they are!

The world’s greatest lie: At a certain point in our lives we lose control of what’s happening to us and our lives become controlled by fate.

This one's for those who have stopped having faith in the earlier line :( We cannot let fate control our lives... it's just not right!

Most people see the world as a threatening place, and because they do, the world turns out indeed to be a threatening place.

Lesson for me... and maybe a couple of you too.

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.

Another gyaan byte for us :)

Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.

Especially true of all nosey uncles and aunts who somehow have an opinion about everything we do or want :P

If what one finds is made of pure matter, it will never spoil. If what you had found was only a moment of light, like the explosion of a star, you would find nothing on your return.

Beautiful simile!

It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.

I agree totally... your dreams are your only true companion for life!

Never stop dreaming.

Believe me... it serves as enough motivation to keep on trying till you get there someday! Don't forget to keep the fingers crossed too :)

Every search begins with beginner’s luck. And every search ends with the victor’s being severely tested.

I don't mind... all's well that ends well.

Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him.

Makes me feel special! I'm waiting for mine.........

Wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.

Wow... Paulo Coelho even gave us a hint :)

If I really am a part of your dream, you will come back one day.

Some call it emossional atyachaar... some call it pyaar :)

“Even though I complain sometimes,” it (heart) said, “it’s because I’m the heart of a person, and people’s hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren’t, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly.”

How true... we subject our poor li'l hearts through a whole lot of what not. I actually found this dialogue between the shepherd and his heart really really sweet - almost like an innocent kid giving an alibi! Let's stop being mean... let's be good to our hearts!

Life really is generous to those who pursue their destiny.

One more reason to keep going.

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Are You Going to Finish Strong?

Just as I was thinking about what I could write on next, I stumbled upon a video that perfectly appears to be a sequel to my earlier post.

There are a million obstacles that we may come across in life... but there are people around us with deeper sufferings who somehow still emerge winners. They are truly worth emulating.

My hero for the moment is Nick Vujicic. He was born without limbs and has continued to live without them. For someone like him probably managing to live life is a challenge in itself. What is amazing is that despite all odds he's also helping a whole lot of others (including those of us blessed with limbs) help live theirs more meaningfully.

Check out this video. It is just one of his inspiring short talks.

The audience is left in tears at the end of it. I'm sure you'll be silently sniffing once you're done with watching it. I only hope you feel as much stronger, as me once you're done with that :)

I'd only like to add... that however much you may feel down and out, just keep hanging on to the idea that things will only get better than what they are now... eventually! Hats off to you Nick... you made my day!!!

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Hope is a Good Thing

After months of having got myself a copy of the movie The Shawshank Redemption I finally decided to watch it yesterday.

The movie is based on a Stephen King novella [new word I picked up when I wiki-ed for the book :)] called Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption.

Tim Robbins plays the role of a banker called Andy Dufresne who is given a double life sentence for murdering his wife and her lover - a crime that he badly wanted to commit but had not. As fate would have it he was sent to Shawshank Prison where he spent the next 19 years of his life!!!

Morgan Freeman plays the role of 'Red' who was another inmate at Shawshank Prison. Freeman sure has a class of his own. After this movie and The Bucket List he has one more fan in me :)

The movie is hard-hitting with a whole lot of dialogues that leave you dumbstruck. It is yet another visualization of how harsh things can get on the other side of the bars. It is yet another attempt to convey that there is nothing more powerful than hope. It is yet another attempt to reinforce the fact that no matter how mean life can get, it is that undying spirit of hope that will help us sail through and come out smiling despite the hardships that we will eventually leave behind.

I am glad the movie has influenced me positively. I only feel more positive about clinging on to my hopes, however irrational they may seem at the moment!!!

I decided I should put up a post about this on Bindaas Baatein. There's nothing more satisfying than spreading one's positivity around - who knows, this might just make you want to change your mind over things you have given up on.

I'll sum this up in Andy Dufresne's words from the movie - 'Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies'.

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Collect Your ‘Good Stuff’ Bags

(Here's the script I used for my 'Inspire your Audience' speech at CCTM. With this I finished the Competent Communicator series. I'm eagerly waiting to pursue my Advanced Communication track now.)

Picture this. It is eight in the evening. Rohit is at his office desk, busy with his conference calls. A few blocks away his wife Rita is busy at work, delivering some important presentations. Just another long day at work for the couple. At around 10 pm the two of them meet up and drive down to their home. They open the door of their apartment… the lights suddenly come on, there are balloons all over and a complete festive setup. There was a huge cake on the center table… ‘Happy Anniversary Mum n Dad’ read the icing on the cake. On the sofa… their 8 year old daughter was huddled asleep… with a frown on her face. Her parents had forgotten their own anniversary and she could not manage to stay up late enough to remind them!!!

How often have we felt just as sorry as Rohit and Rita?


The world we are in today almost literally personifies the phrase ‘Survival of the Heartless’. As mean as it is… that is how it is.

I want to spend the next few minutes trying to inspire all of you to slow down, look around and take stock of all the smaller, yet sweeter things in life.

Let me share a story with you all. It is written by Robert Fulghum and he calls it ‘The Daddy Prize’.

Molly lived with her father and brother. She was a little school girl. Molly would pack the lunch bags for all three of them every morning. Each bag would get a share of sandwiches, apples, milk… and sometimes a note or a treat.

One morning Molly gave her father two paper bags as he was about to leave. One regular lunch sack. And an extra paper sack.
"Why two bags?” Molly’s father asked in a hurry.
"The other one is something else.", she said.
"What's in it?” her father asked – more irritation in his voice.
"Just some stuff – take it with you."
Not wanting to get late for work, he stuffed both sacks into his briefcase, kissed Molly, and rushed off.

That’s how fathers are. Practical, to the point and always in a rush. But when it comes to their daughters there is an inevitable soft corner. Fathers of daughters would agree.

Coming back to the story…
At midday, while hurriedly gulping down his real lunch, Molly’s father tore open the other bag and shook out the contents. Two hair ribbons, three small stones, a plastic dinosaur, a pencil stub, a tiny seashell, a marble, a used lipstick, a small doll, two chocolate kisses, and thirteen coins.

He had a momentary smile on his face. The next moment he remembered he was getting late for a meeting. He swept the desk clean – into the dustbin – leftover lunch, Molly's junk, and all. There wasn't anything in there that he needed.

All those of you who are fathers here, just look back at the many moments you felt nice when your children did whatever little they could to make you feel special. When we were kids, my sisters and I would plan for weeks about what to present our parents’ for their birthdays or anniversary. The end result would not be so happening… a hand made paper card with doodles and wishes in our scrawly handwriting. But my parents were always sweet enough to speak so high about it. They would even put it up on display for a couple of days and boast about it to any visitors who dropped in. It felt really good.

Molly’s father sensed similar pride… unfortunately his ruthless demands at work did not let the feeling sink in. Wonder how Molly would react to her father dumping away her gift.

That evening Molly went and stood next to her father while he was reading the paper.
"Where's the bag?", she asked.
"What bag?", he asked without even looking out of the paper.
"You know, the one I gave you this morning."
"I left it at office, why?"
"I forgot to put this note in it."
She handed over a note and continued… "Besides, I want it back?"
"Why?", Molly’s father asked, surprised.
"Those are my things in the sack, Daddy, the ones I really like – I thought you might like to play with them, but now I want them back. You didn't loose the bag, did you, Daddy?" Tears puddled in her eyes.

He lied to her that he forgot the bag at office.
She pleaded with him to bring it back the next day… she was embarrassed.
He agreed.
As she hugged him with relief, her father unfolded the note that had not got into the sack: "I love you Daddy.", it said!!

He realized then that what the bag had was definitely ‘something else’. Molly had given him her treasures. Love in a paper sack. And he had missed it. Not only missed it, but had thrown it in the dustbin because "there wasn't anything in there that he needed."

Molly’s dad was filled with remorse. How often have we felt that way? How often have we hurt someone, maybe even without meaning to? I’m not sure if we can entirely blame Molly’s dad… coz probably each one of us here have done something similar to what he did… not just with our children… but with any of our near and dear ones. What I like about her dad is that he realized his mistake and set out to make amends.

After putting Molly to sleep, he rushed to office. He reached just in time before the cleaning staff began their work. He picked up the dustbin and poured the contents on the floor. He sorted out the trash looking for each piece of Molly’s treasure.

He washed the items and spraying the whole thing with breath-freshener to kill the smell of onions. Next he carefully smoothed out the ball of brown paper into a semi functional bag, put the treasures inside and carried the whole thing home. The next evening he returned it to Molly, no questions asked. The bag didn't look so good but the stuff was all there and that's how Molly looked at it.

After dinner he asked her to tell him about the stuff in the sack, and so she took it all out a piece at a time and placed the objects in a row on the dining table. It took a long time to tell. Everything had a story, a memory, or was attached to dreams and imaginary friends.

To his surprise, Molly gave the bag to her father once again several days later. Same bag. Same stuff inside. He felt forgiven. And trusted. And loved. And a little more comfortable wearing the title of Father.

Over several months the bag went with him from time to time. And came back each time too.

In time Molly turned her attention to other things...found other treasures… she lost interest in this game. Her father was left holding the bag. Molly gave it to him one morning and never asked for its return. And he still had it. He called it the ‘Good Stuff’ bag and kept it forever.

Spend some time thinking over the possible number of ‘Good Stuff’ bags that you may have turned down. Simple day to day incidents are potential moments to treasure.

I remember an incident from my family. My cousin sister was elated one Friday morning to see her jeans tearing away at the bottom. She badly wanted to have the torn jeans effect that her cousins from Bombay had. That evening when she came back from college she was shocked to see that our grandmother had neatly folded and stitched up the shabby looking trousers. My cousin was mad at her and yelled and howled. Poor grandma didn’t get the point at all. She was only trying to help. Fashion fads had taken priority over a loving grandma’s gesture. Today my cousin repents her impulsive reaction… all’s well between the two of them now. :)

People who truly care about you go that extra mile to give you their affection, love and respect. Good stuff may not always be tangible. It could be something as simple as a smile or maybe someone going all out to help you with something you are working on. At times you may not need that help, but that does not take away the warmth from the help someone offers.

Things today have become so materialistic, that we fail to appreciate their genuinenesss. ‘Whats in it for me?’ is what we ask ourselves before doing or accepting something.

As we grow older, our life revolves around work and money. Our families, parents in particular, slowly seem secondary. Money and work are important, but what is even more important is to strike a perfect work-life balance. We must not forget that we work only to lead a better life… not to stop living at all.

There are so many opportunities where we can collect our ‘Good Stuff’ bags. But we’re just too preoccupied to even spot them. Leave alone the pain we cause when we overlook the feelings behind the bags.

Take a couple of moments more… slow down your pace… contribute to the ‘Good Stuff’ bags of people around you… collect your ‘Good Stuff’ bags… if nothing else it will keep you smiling even when you’re sporting a toothless smile!

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Life...

Richard Bach (author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull) in his book 'One'
wrote - "I gave my life to become what I am now; was it worth doing it?"

Life is a beautiful gift each one of us has. Too bad we undermine its beauty and before we realize it’s almost bidding us goodbye.

Take the case of the Sharma household, our family friends for the last 15 years. Both husband and wife have spent years and years of their lives doing all they can for their children. Right from dawn to dusk they spend every moment helping their children do well in life… fulfilling many a dream that perhaps they left unfinished during their hay days. Unfortunately so, with the kind of social exposure, information availability and with the advent of an era where one can easily get influenced to do what they feel is right, it is not uncommon to see parents complaining about how their children betrayed their dreams, did not care about their feelings and how they made their lives ahead meaningless. The generation next of the Sharma’s, their only son, thought his parents were an obstacle to his career and decided to part ways. What a shame!!! Not really, not if you’re strongly influenced by a group of American teens for whom life begins and ends at Central P.E.R.K. or Pop Tates. All these years of efforts and dreams simply washed away. The Sharma’s and many other parents spend the rest of their lives wondering what went wrong. They start assessing why and how and finally sigh… ‘I gave my life to become what I am now; was it worth doing it?’

Last fortnight, I read about this sportsperson who had made it big in his field of sport. The newspapers, sports magazines and television channels were all gung-ho about this macho star. Young girls and boys who wanted to be as famous were glued on to special television bulletins featuring their sports icon. All’s well that ends well. But in this ‘far from perfect’ world of ours all’s not so well after all. Last week people were mobbing the very same sporting genius just because he voiced his opinion over a sensitive social issue. Public protests, yellow journalism, bad publicity and the ‘wherever you go I’ll be there’ kind of paparazzi effect ruined his life. All this because he believed and said something that a group of immature people were unwilling to accept and respect as someone’s opinion. The last I heard was that the mobs got into some kind of brawl with him and in the bargain he had damaged his legs. The sporting community lost a potential hero. The sportsman sits by himself by the hospital window pondering over what had got the better of him. The next moment he must have sighed… ‘I gave my life to become what I am now; was it worth doing it?’

There are many others from the field of entertainment and sport who face similar hardships in life. The life of a celebrity is not all that glittery as it appears on the ‘silver’ screen or on that hoarding round the corner. It is difficult to cope with the pressures of being famous. A lot is written about them; with most part of it being built up. It is not very easy to blame the media since some attention hungry celebs use the media to increase their rapport with their audiences. It is more like a ‘you win some, you lose some’ situation. Lady luck decides which of the ‘some’ lose and how much.

While skimming through the newspapers the other day I came across an article quoting instances of feuds and disputes in the most famous of families from the political and business circles of India. The Ambani brothers have done their bit, only to be followed by the Thackerays, Mahajans and the Mafatlals. Sibling rivalry seems to have taken a whole new dimension… straight into the business boardroom. Generations of hard work, strong values and a commitment to lead the business by setting the right kind of examples seem to be a thing of the past. With our country heading towards a new horizon in the fields of industrialization and development, it is up to the business bigwigs to gear up and stick to doing ‘good business’ rather than putting a premature end to our nation’s prosperity. If things get worse, or for that matter, if things do not change for the better, it will not be long before we hear the business legends of yesteryears sighing from their graves… ‘I gave my life to become what I am now; was it worth doing it?’

As I write this I came across some ‘breaking news’ about some gory incident by the Talibans. News channels have been focusing on the inhumane incident where the Talibans had beheaded an Indian engineer posted in Afghanistan. Is this what Jihad or ‘holy war’ means to the Talibans and others from the terrorist community? Is this what they wanted to achieve in life? Every book or movie that revolves around the life of a terrorist tries to justify how certain incidents in their lives have lead them into such ‘professions’. Is that justification enough? We need to create alternate avenues for people who have lost in life. Terrorism is not a solution. It is only creating more problems for even more people. Things need to change soon in the right direction. Humanity needs to be restored in these young minds before its too late… before they sigh… ‘I gave up my life to become what I am now; it seems to be worth it.’

To sum up I’d like to include the perspective of the younger lot who’ve just begun their careers. Life, for us has just begun. We are setting goals for ourselves each time we wake up from our world of dreams. There are many milestones that we identify for ourselves everyday. Challenging career objectives, hectic schedules, rush hour traffic, balancing time between family, friends and work are speed breakers on our way up in life. Going through the mundane routines of life could, at some point of time, kill the zing out of our youthfulness. It is too early in life for us to sigh and say ‘I gave my life to become what I am now; was it worth doing it?’. Infact, I would like to reiterate the fact that life, for us has just about begun in more ways than one. I think it would be best if we could learn from the lives and experiences of our parents, relatives, eminent personalities and just about everyone around; learn from their mistakes and try to lead more contented lives. We need to make a conscious effort to do well in life. At the same time we could add meaning to it by helping others around do well. The not so privileged may need a helping hand to move on in life. We must try fulfilling some (if not all) of our parents’ dreams and bring a smile on their face. All of these are some of the ways by which we can, one day sit by the windowsill, stare up into the starry sky and let the glint of satisfaction in our eyes whisper… ‘I lived it up all my life to become what I am now; guess it is worth it after all.’

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