Gate Crashers

(Here's the script I used for Project 6 of Toastmasters at the Chennai Covansys Toastmasters Club [CCTM]. Won the Best Speaker prize for this one too :-). Do read through and leave me your valuable comments.)

Has any one ever gate crashed a wedding reception???
Something I thought could be very exciting!!!

Our lecturer for Operations Research Madam Phansalkar’s son was getting married that day. My batchmate Prashant was also a faculty for undergraduate courses in our college. Phansalkar Madam had sent an invitation to Prashant for her son’s wedding that day.

That day was a usual day at college. Lectures were over and we were lazing around in the canteen over poha and chai. Prashant too was there with us. He read out the invitation … ‘You are cordially invited with family and friends…’

Now, when you are away from home for a long time, things like good food, dressing up, mingling with guys other than your boring batchmates are things that turn you on... ‘Cordially invited with family and friends’ struck the same chord among all 10 of us.

Prashant called out… 'Those who want to come for the reception, please raise your hands'... (the professor effect :P). Shamelessly I raised my hand… then I saw 9 other shameless people around me.

My friend Shagufta, a typical tomboy, and a total extrovert did the head count aloud. Prashant was visibly baffled; he was just being formal... Shagufta was just being normal!!!

Poor Prashant had to maintain that friendly gesture and said 'Yes yes... why not' and turned to the rest of us... one by one people started making excuses and began dropping out.

I badly needed a feast. Shagufta had been away from home for her graduation as well. Probably that made her hungrier for good food. She gave me the sternest look and said… 'Priya... you are not dropping out... We'll just be eating a tiny portion of the food from soooo much food... wont harm anyone'. I was game and thought it will be fun to try out. Gate crashing was something I always wanted to do. I accepted.

She gave the pleading 'please don’t drop out' look to another close friend Jay. Guess what… boys always agree and so did Jay.

Finally we got ready by around 6.00 pm and headed to Jay's house. We could hear sounds from inside his place...
'Oh no!!’
'Aah that looks better'...
Shagufta and I thought Jay was definitely deciding what he should wear!!

We rang the bell... and banged the door... Jay called from inside... 'Come in... Door is open'. We went in to see him playing some super fast car game on his PC - dressed in shorts and a tee shirt!!! We were irritated!!!

Shagufta switched off the PC and in her usual tone said... 'Jayy... chalna nahi hai kya' which means don’t we have to leave now?

Only then did Jay actually notice us. After all boys will be boys… switch off the TV or PC… only then their minds open up. He pushed back the chair and sprang up the moment he saw us... to him we were overly dressed for a usual evening - he least expected that we would actually dare to barge into the reception… uninvited.

Jay tried the ‘hurt the ego’ stunt on me. 'Priya!!! I never expected this from you...class topper doing such things just doesn’t suit you'. Shagufta came to my rescue... 'Jay, good food is waiting for us... but its not waiting for us forever... are you coming... now!!!' I stood there smiling at him with a 'serves you right' look.

We helped him find something to wear. Actually to make sure we don’t look overly dressed we dug out his most ethnic kurta and made him decide on that.

Jay is someone who was very conscious about his looks.
He looked at the kurta and at then at us… 'Are you girls sure I should wear this?'
Shagufta said 'Of course yes Jay... simple yet elegant'.
'Absolutely... all the girls at the reception would go crazy over you', I added.
That did it. Jay was ready in a minute and we were out with Prashant in the next 5 minutes.

Seeing only three of us, Prashant looked a lot more relieved than in the morning. He got the company he wanted instead of the crowd!!! Prashant called for an auto and gave Phansalkar Ma’am’s residence address.

We reached her house… but there was no activity. It was dark and quiet… no sign of celebration… no sign of food!!! And it was not April First. Only then it struck us that receptions are not normally held at people's homes. In all the excitement and enthusiasm, we did not read the venue details on the invite... 'Cordially invited with family and friends' did not let us look beyond.

The boys were embarrassed. Shagufta was angry… may have been hungry too. I was lost. Prashant rushed to the security guard to find out where the reception was happening. It was happening at a hall just behind Jay's house. Jay could not hold back his anger. We could not hold back our laughter. Jay sighed 'Aaah!!! Too much', Prashant the perfect host said... 'Come on let’s rush no more delay'... Shagufta promptly agreed with a 'Yes yes!!!'... I was more practical... 'Bhaiya, Shivaji Nagar'... I called out for an auto.

We finally reached the hall and stepped in. The big fans at the entrance, the red carpet, the potted plants along the walk way, food counters visible at a distance - this was the wedding venue!!!

The strong scented air that the fan blew on our faces shook us up... Shagufta and I exchanged looks - guilt struck both of us - but it was too late... Jay was already prancing around the hall in his new kurta and Prashant was mingling with the other faculty members... we had been abandoned!! Shagufta and I were embarrassed – now!!! After a couple of moments both of us exchanged looks again – as if telling each other - 'Big Deal!!'. We started having a good time - pulling Jay's leg, checking out the other guests, what the others were wearing etc.

After a while, our course coordinator walked in. We began hiding ourselves behind each other, in the process revealing all 3 of us. Sir smiled at us and spoke very normally. Some other staff members were also sweet enough to speak to us. We are sure... behind those smiles they were thinking... 'How come these people are here’?

Finally the inevitable happened. Phansalkar Ma’am spotted us. She saw our pink faces and tried to calm us down... "I'm sooo happy you'll came for the wedding... Don’t you'll leave without eating" she said pulling my cheeks like a typical aunty. "Tell her that's exactly why we're here' Shagufta whispered in my ear... I was confused how to react... and simply nodded. Prashant and a couple of other staff members were laughing at us for the rest of the evening.

Finally after all this, we headed to the food counter... and ate to our fullest. We were so shameless we did not even wish the couple, nor did we present them anything. We just ate and ate and ate.

The next day at college was good fun. We told long stories about our act of bravery. Our batch mates realized we were lying when we skipped Operations Research lectures for the rest of the term.

(PS: We never dared to tell Phansalkar Ma'am that the food was simply mouth-watering at the reception... Ma'am if you happen to read this... I'll be happy the message got conveyed :) Prashant thanks so much for reading out the invite that day... and Jay and Shagufta... a big thank you to both of you for matching my Shamelessness Quotient :P)

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Colourful Chaos

(Here's the script I used for Project 5 of Toastmasters at the Chennai Covansys Toastmasters Club [CCTM]. Won the Best Speaker prize for this one too :-). Do read through and leave me your valuable comments.)

Two dozen eggs… three bottles of coconut oil… 10 packets of natural colour… water as required. No, I am not demonstrating some delicious egg-based recipe, I am just reviewing our checklist for the next Holi celebration.

Holi as we all know is the festival of colours. It is a very popular festival up North. It is usually celebrated over two days starting with the burning of the demoness Holika in a huge bonfire at night. The next day is called Dhulhendi – where people spend the day throwing coloured powder and water at each other. Thandai is a popluar refresher that people prepare and drink during that day. Bhang – an intoxicant made from hemp leaves is added to the thandai – to add more spirit to the festive spirit perhaps!!!

I think that is enough of an introduction to a festival which probably by now quite clearly comes across as my favourite festival. Well… before I continue let me say that Holi is not only NOT my favourite festival but also it is one festival that I dread the most.

Holi was celebrated with a lot of enthusiasm in our residential colony in Bombay. Kids of all ages along with the parents would have loads of fun throwing coloured powder on each other and spraying coloured water with their pichkaris. Teenaged boys would get this tank like box filled with coloured water and would literally pick up everyone and throw them into the tank. It is an unwritten rule about Holi – no one can be less coloured than the other. Some of the coloured uncles and aunties would go around visiting homes to apply the traditional tikka of gulal or red powder… never once did I oblige them. What begins as a tikka on the forehead ends up leaving you all coloured… cannot really blame them… must be the bhang in action!!!

As a kid… well to be honest… even as a grown up kid, I would literally lock myself in my room or sometimes the bathroom to stay away from all this chaos in colour. All that I’ve described is what I managed to see from behind the curtains of my closed windows. They say that time is the best healer… but for me this fear of Holi just keeps increasing every year. I would like to share one recent Holi experience at this point.

This happened when I was studying in Pune. My roommates Jyoti and Kavneet – both from North India – were fretting over the fact that they were not able to play Holi that year because we had an exam on the following day. I was so secretly happy!!!

We were busy with our books. It was around 2 pm in the afternoon when Jyoti’s mobile rang. She picked up the phone. It was another batchmate, Mayank. He wanted some book for the next day’s exam. Mayank was from our group… but you know when it is Holi I do not take any chances. Seeing the fear on my face, Jyoti covered the handset and checked if I thought it was a hoax. I nodded my head even before she finished asking. But Mayank sounded genuine on the phone. He said they had already finished playing Holi in the morning and that he had just finished his bath and lunch and was walking towards our house to collect the book. Jyoti was convinced. Though she missed playing Holi she was in no mood to get wet and coloured because she had loads to study. But she was convinced.

I still had my doubts. Boys - you can never trust… and trusting them on Holi is like a huge gamble!!! I took the lead in helping Jyoti pack up the book. We wrapped the book in a lot of newspaper, fastened it with a rubber band and then put it in a plastic bag.

In Pune, landlords come up with these silly rules for female tenants… one of their favourites being ‘Boys not Allowed’. Our building was a little inside the compound with a long narrow stretch of road to walk to the main gate. Jyoti was supposed to meet Mayank at the gate and hand over the book. I watched from the balcony as she approached the gate. I do not know what prompted her to be cautious, but when she reached the gate she slowed down and took a peek outside on the right side first and then towards the left. I was proud of her for being so cautious. The next moment she turned back and began running as fast as she could. In the same moment some 20 coloured creatures were chasing her. The next moment poor Jyoti was drenched in colour. I was stunned and I began yelling for help. Kavneet also rushed to the balcony. She was able to identify those boys… they were our batchmates – Mayank included. All I could risk for my room mate was to stay put in the balcony and call out for her. It was a well calculated risk – they could not get me coloured even though I was in an open balcony without curtains - we lived on the fifth floor… if nothing else at least gravity would save me from getting coloured.

Poor Jyoti came back home in some time. It didn’t look like she was out only for a few minutes. They had even broken eggs on her head and it was dripping all over. The boys waited for some more time… outside the gate. They were forcing Kavneet and me to go down and get coloured for 5 mins to avoid fatal consequences later. For me, those 5 minutes were fatal and we did not relent. ‘Boys not allowed’ made sense for once!

I definitely appreciate the spirit of fun about Holi, but when it comes to all this colourful chaos, please count me out. If you have your checklist in place… advance wishes to all of you for the next Holi and the many more to come. I would never risk wishing you in person anyway.

(Special thanks to Jyoti, Kavneet, Mayank and the rest of the coloured creatures who let me use their names without their permission :P)

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Munich Moments

July 2008 – one month that I’ll always remember. I was out on my first trip abroad... all by myself!!! I visited the beautiful city of Munich in Germany. There’s loads to write about the trip, but there were some really small (some may seem silly too!!!) yet meaningful things that I just cannot forget. I thought it will be better to simply list them out without getting into the details. These moments lasted only for a couple of seconds or minutes… but they bring a smile on my face even now. Read on and hopefully you would be smiling by the time you’re through with the list...

• The weird first timer feeling I had on my first international flight – the travel pillow, the blanket, the headphones and the built-in TV with its retractable remote!!!
• The strange feeling of not feeling different when I got off at Dubai airport
• The even more strange feeling when I didn’t feel lost or home-sick at Dubai airport and during the trip in general
• The pleasantly enchanting feeling when I first stepped out of Munich airport… there was something in the chill air that gave me a warm welcome
• The real life phoren experience with foreigners all around me… actually I was a foreigner this time round :)
• The cool feeling of being driven around in a BMW
• The promptness with which Sabrina gave me an agenda for my time at Germany – agenda of what they had planned out for me to do each evening and over the weekend :)
• The fantastic roadways with really fast cars speeding along
• The clean broad roads and the trees that lined them
• The apartment hotel room with a built-in kitchenette… my home sweet home at Munich
• The smart corridor lights in the hotel that would light up every time I stepped into the corridor :)
• The Maggi noodles and other ready-to-eat stuff that I cooked up for dinner sometimes
• The whole breakfast experience at the hotel every morning – all kinds of breads, cheese, marmalades, juices and the serve yourself arrangement
• The whole ‘I am a traveler and I have a map to help me around’ experience
• The train travels and the English-German instructions for boarding/ alighting on every station
• The escalators at all the stations – the ones that worked and the ones that didn’t too :)
• The huge sprawling Allianz campus at Unterfuhring and the sparkling glass exteriors
• The perfect work-life balance that the Germans maintain – when they’re working they’re working… when they’re not working they’re living life!!!
• The huge canteen at the Allianz office with so much of food… the pure vegetarian in me had to settle for the salads and fruit juices though!!!
• The wonderful company of colleagues at Allianz and how they tried their best to converse with me in the little English they knew
• The almost every evening visits to beer gardens around the city
• The health conscious Germans walking, jogging, cycling, skating or playing football while the others drank beer
• The funny and otherwise unimaginable importance that beer got over water
• The enthusiasm and general spirit of every localite I came across and the sincere attempts they made to make me feel comfortable
• The effort Mr. Grimm made at the Johanneskirchen beer garden to translate everything on the menu from German to English – helping me make sure that it was vegetarian :)
• The baked potato and cream that I finally ordered – took me to my Enid Blyton days where all her characters had potatoes baked in their jackets with cream and herbs :)
• The chill in the air and the occasional rains
• The funny experience of having daylight up to 9.30 or 10.00 pm
• Christopher Street Day and how I was dazed at all that I saw!!! (I know what you’re gonna be Google-ing next :P)
• Roaming around the streets by myself in my attempts to explore the city
• Viktualienmarkt and its awesome spread of stalls selling everything from fruits, flowers, cheese and beer to handmade dolls, straw dolls and all kinds of cute and colourful wooden dolls
• The street-side musicians and acrobats who entertained the crowds
• The beautiful flowers outside windows and balconies of most of the buildings – the uniform pattern added so much charm to it
• The awesome architecture all over… the churches, the town hall, The Residense, Odeonsplatz etc
• The contrasting architecture of the old buildings and the ultra modern shopping complexes along Karlsplatz Stachus
• The small packed shop Max Krug – that had a huge collection of cuckoo clocks and other Munich memorabilia to choose from
• The tall enchanting church towers and the beautiful glass paintings on their glass panes
• The special feeling inside the churches I visited – Frauenkirche, Peterskirche and St. Maxmillian Church
• The walks I took along the River Isar... never knew I could give myself such good company :)
• The beautiful refreshing green landscapes at Olympia Park, Hofgarten and Englischergarten
• The fairy tale kind experience of visiting the Nymphemburg Schloss Castle and the sprawling gardens behind it
• The fun ride I had with Sabrina in the open top double decker tourist bus on the weekend sightseeing tour
• The ride down Maxmillian Street – the most expensive street in Munich where the world’s costliest brands sell their stuff
• The pista, vanilla and hazelnut ice creams that I had for 1 Euro each :)
• The visit I made to Prasad’s house at Bonner Platz… felt great meeting his wife and daughter Madhulika and enjoyed eating Indian food in foreign land
• The visit I made to Karsten’s house in Gauting… meeting his wife Karen, kids Lhasa and Maya, the pancakes and vanilla ice cream with fresh strawberries for dinner... strolling around in Gauting was a wonderful experience too
• The visit I made to Jurij’s house… meeting his daughter Milianna, eating the delicious home-made pizza and the rest of the Bavarian delicacies that his wife Tanya had made for me... can't forget the cake too :)
• The BMW World and BMW Museum visit – am not so much of a cars person, but seeing so many cars of one of the most desired brands was an experience by itself
• The Kinetic Sculpture demonstration at the BMW Museum and how we simply couldn't take our eyes off it
• The chocolate shopping that I did at ALDI for my family and friends back home… never shopped for chocolates like that… ever!!!
• The good-byes I bid to every piece of furniture in my hotel room on the day I was leaving (please excuse the senti factor :P)
• The strange feeling I had on the day I had to leave…

Munich never once made me feel lonely, lost or home-sick… that surely means there’s something about the place that makes it really special. What I’ve tried to do here is to list out my moments in Munich that I would never possibly forget…. I’m sure I would have missed out on many such moments in my hurry to post this article online… I will add to the list as and when they come to mind :). If ever you have enough money and time on hand… Munich is a must visit… I truly love the place and would not hesitate to take the next chance I get to be there!!!

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Tales on Rails

(Here's the script I used for Project 3 of Toastmasters at the Chennai Covansys Toastmasters Club [CCTM]. Won the Best Speaker prize for this one too :-). Do read through and leave me your valuable comments)

Chennai’s sweltering summer is draining us all out!!! We’re all complaining about the rising temperatures!!! Summers – however hot they were – somehow always brought a lot of cheer and excitement when I was schooling in Bombay. Summers meant summer vacations. Summer vacations meant visiting my grandparents in Chennai which also meant the fun-filled 36 hours of train journey from Bombay to Chennai.

We have so many micro societies formed within society in general. Societies that get formed in residential colonies, societies at work, jogging track societies and the like. All of them have their own charm and personify a sense of belongingness. For me, the 36 hour train journey every summer was nothing short of a society on wheels.

Bus journeys are too short. Flights may get you frequent flyer points and pretty airhostesses, but traveling long distance by second class is one of the most entertaining experiences and I’m very sure all of you would agree.

We used to travel by the Madras Mail almost every year. We’re a family of five and the first thing that would be debated over before any journey would be the luggage count. We always had a minimum of 7-8 bags, plus of course the last minute additions like the big basket full of breakfast, lunch and dinner, the water can and an extra bag for all our footwear!!! Dad tried really hard to explain how one pair of footwear would be good enough for the two month vacation. Somehow that never worked with us.

I have come across a cross section of all sorts of people during my journeys. It’s like a stage on the move with people of all types making an appearance!!! As kids we would strike quick friendships with the other kids in the compartment and have a good time together. We would come up with interesting games to play - right from ‘who climbs up to the upper berth first’ to ‘count the tunnels as they pass’!!! As I grew up, I became more of an observer. Constantly munching something seemed to be every passenger’s delight and only pass time. We were quite a hotel-on-rails ourselves. The big basket had everything from yummy idlis for breakfast to packed tamarind rice for lunch. Not to forget the be all and end all of every South Indian’s meal – the curd rice – mum would have it all in place for us.

While traveling by train, you have just two interesting things to do… eating and watching others while they are eating!!! There was once this Gujarati family traveling along with us. Small eats and snacks are an absolute must for them. The ladies in the group actually prepared an elaborate bhel puri for their entire group – complete with all the ingredients. We had fun seeing them make it and they had fun as they ate it all up.

There was this other occasion when there were a group of Marwadis traveling to Chennai. They were busy playing cards throughout the journey. Never seen more enthusiastic card players after that!!! So much that after a while almost everyone in the compartment had joined them in their game of cards!!!

When we’re talking about train journeys, we just cannot overlook the vendors selling all kinds of stuff – right from eatables to toothbrush and toothpaste for the forgetful travelers. It would be an interesting sight to see little kids blackmailing their parents to buy them something from almost every vendor who caught their attention. I did that too, as a kid.

There’s this small town called Daund on the Bombay-Chennai route. This place is supposedly notorious for dacoits and train thieves. All the elderly men in the compartment would ensure that the window shutters are closed before sleep time. They would advice everyone else to be careful of their belongings. On one such night journey, when we were all asleep there was this thief who got in somehow. I was asleep on the middle berth. All of a sudden the train screeched to a halt and I woke up with a start to see this hooded person running away from near my berth. Apparently, Mr. Thief was trying to snatch my chain just as someone else who had been robbed had pulled on the train’s emergency chain!!! The entire compartment woke up. Some people tried to chase the thief. Others helped to check if everyone’s belongings were safe, while a few others offered to stay awake and keep vigil for the rest of the night.

The best part about all these journeys would always be when we reached Chennai. No matter how absurd our first impressions about our fellow travelers were, we would have struck quite a few good friendships through the journey. I’m surprised about how we would feel sorry to be parting after that brief stint together. But that’s the way it is. We tend to gel beautifully with our co-passengers on the move. Irrespective of where they’re from or what religion they follow. Wonder what makes it so difficult to respect and accept people as they are in the journey of life!!!

Have we become an intolerant lot? People living together for decades just can’t stand each other now. The recent attack on north Indians in Maharashtra, the attack on Biharis in Assam and other similar incidents of regional intolerance are not something we would want more of. India has often been quoted as a burning example of unity in diversity. Are we failing to live up to it? ‘Vasudhaiva Kutumbakum’ – is an ancient Sanskrit scripture from the Rigveda!!! Literally translated it means ‘the entire world is one family’. This term has been coined nearly 5000 years ago when nationalism as a concept didn’t even exist – leave alone regionalism. It surely subscribes to mutual coexistence and respect for each others beliefs and values. Think about it… can all of us together help make Vasudhaiva Kutumbakum a reality – train journey or otherwise?

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